Humanity's Last Hope
by Sorenthehero911
Summary: Set 30 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission, this story chronicles the lives of Eren Yeager and Petra Ral as they chronicle their experiences and feelings before their mission to help reclaim Wall Maria through ink and paper. Little did they know that the feelings they were experiencing would be for one another instead of the mission itself.
1. Chapter 1

-Day One (30 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Basement, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

I really don't know how to begin this, without getting out of my chest the endless pressure I've been given, not just by the Scouting Regiment, but in hindsight, by humanity in general. I just barely survived being executed by the cowards who saw me as a threat to them. Not that I blame them. The idea of a man who can transform into a Titan? I wouldn't expect anyone to be so openly optimistic about that. But they saw what I could do, what I have done, even more so, they should be able to see what I'm capable off. I'm not a threat to them; I hate the Titans as much as they do. Though, I still can't understand how or why I'm able to do this. But I can't focus on this matter now, only how to control it. My efforts and ability can help bring an end to the Titans once and for all, and no matter what it takes, I'll learn how to use this power and help bring mankind back from the brink of extinction... I hope.

Joining the Scouts was my dream since I was a kid. Now that I am one, I'm starting to see how they really are and how we function around here. This castle is huge, and has a lot of space, but to me it feels like just another prison to hold a monster. And the monster is me, and it appears that everyone here sees me as such, all except for two in particular. One of them is incredibly enough Commander Erwin and the other is Captain Levi, who's surprisingly really short despite how strong he is out in the battlefield. They seem to be the only ones who genuinely trust me, but everyone else looks at me with doubt in their eyes, and fear in their hearts. To my surprise, they want me to believe that I can trust them, but the way they talk to me, there's a sense of sheltered hostility that they seem to be bottling up, under orders, not under personal reasons. If it were up to them, who knows how they'd talk to me and treat me. Along with Commander Erwin and Captain Levi, there are 6 others including myself: Eld Jin, Günther Shultz, Oruo Bozad, Commander Zöe Hanji, and Petra Ral. Under their orders, I've been forced to live under the castle cellar, as a precaution in the event of me transforming into a Titan, like that would help. All it would do is cause a great deal of the castle to collapse, and possibly crush nearly every bone in my body. The pain would be excruciating, no doubt about it, but they wouldn't care. As long as I cause harm to nobody, and follow orders, they can give a rat's ass what happens to me. For all I know, they'll probably dispose of me when and if this is all over. A martyr for humanity as the MP brigade stated, not that the Survey Corps would allow it, but what do I know?

Only time will tell what my place in the scouts will bring to the table aside from just being a sentient instrument of war. For now all I can do is follow command, while the rest of them cower in fear of the Eren they see, but not the Eren they know. How am I gonna earn their trust if they can't see me for who I really am? They don't even seem to care all that much, at least not that I can see. They barely even talk to me, except to give out orders. I've only been here for one day, and all I've managed to do was help clean the rooms in the castle and scrape up manure from the Horse Cottage. To put it bluntly, it's a shitty job, no pun intended. Hardly any time was given for me to talk to any of them personally, not that they'd probably want to. That is except for one: Petra. Curiously out of all the members of Captain Levi's handpicked personnel, she was the only one who even thought of talking to me, despite knowing what I am. Our conversation really didn't last long as I was interrupted by Captain Levi and forced back upstairs to clean. She made me realize that my thoughts on Captain Levi were simply over-exaggerated, as he actually worked under somebody else's command rather than his own like I thought. What surprised me though was how she spoke. It wasn't serious, or hostile like any of the others, but rather calming, gentle, and soft. It was like the voice of an angel, and she spoke to me like if I were a human being, and not a monster. She is so far, the only one who treated me with any sense of sincerity, and kindness, if maybe just by words, but despite her gentle voice telling me that it's not as bad as it sounds living here, I can only imagine the hell that these people will be putting me through in the name of science and humanity. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement, to say that I'm scared is a lie, but if I'm going to be used for the good of mankind, I really hope that my efforts are well used and not wasted. I'd hate to be the downfall of humanity after supposedly becoming "Humanity's last hope". Only time will tell where my place will be, and in 30 days, we depart outside of Wall Rose and straight deep into the depths of Wall Maria, on-route to what remains of my home back in Shiganshina District. Only then, will we discover what my father was hiding behind that basement of his that he never told me about. But that said, if the secrets to destroying the Titans remain hidden below that basement, why the hell hasn't he shared that information with the world? What is that bastard hiding down there? Again... Only time will tell.


	2. Chapter 2

-Day 2 (29 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Bedroom, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

Well, where do I even start with this? I'm not normally used to writing my thoughts on a sheet of paper, let alone an entire journal's worth, but I'll try my best to let my thoughts be as clear as day. Today we were able to get to know Eren a little better over at the dinner table, and we tried to understand how his powers function and work. Sadly, we got little to work with before Commander Hanji literally dropped in to crash the conversation. I swear there's something wrong with her sometimes, and I'm not the only one thinks so. Captain Levi put us all in charge of watching over him to make sure that he doesn't go and do anything rash or crazy. In other words, if necessary, take him down on sight. It's hard to believe that the fate of humanity lies in the hands of this poor kid. He doesn't act like it or try to show it, but I can see that he's scared out of his mind. I can't even begin to wonder the pressure and stress he must have to endure now that he's practically being forced by chains to help reclaim the walls or face execution. He's going into this with very little choice despite wanting to join us in the first place. He doesn't seem to care on a verbal standpoint, but I can definitely sense disappointment, especially after talking to him yesterday. He seemed confused and kind of offset about his place here with us. I tried to encourage him that we're not exactly what we seem, but I still ensured to him that we are still a powerhouse to be reckoned with, even with Oruo getting his tongue caught in between his teeth every damn time we go on horseback. I swear, the day that man chokes on his own tongue, I'll be there ready to say 'I told you so'.

It's clear that neither of them are showing that much trust or empathy towards him, understandable given his condition, but it doesn't seem like they're really trying hard to gain it. They're simply looking at him as a chore, and as a possible threat. Nothing more, and nothing less, and I Know this can't be right. I may not know a lot about the Titans myself, but if Eren really was a threat, wouldn't he have done something about now? It's clear Eren is not a threat or a monster, but everyone is already shunned him for being one simply for what he can turn into on the outside. I have to say that he does not deserve this kind of treatment, but I do believe that he needs to be closely monitored for security purposes. I guess that's where we come in. I'm gonna try and get closer to Eren and talk to him more; maybe get him alone so that he can let out any frustration onto me. No one to judge and no one to oppress him. The poor kid needs a friend right now more than anything, and I refuse to let him wallow in misery as long as we're here.


	3. Chapter 3

-Day 3 (28 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Basement, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

I managed to get used to my surroundings here, and was even allowed to roam around this abandoned hunk of concrete they called a Castle, let alone HQ. Surprisingly, aside from the Horse Cottage, every room feels almost identical and every floor is the same, not helping the case was the depressing feel that this place has. Moss growing everywhere, dust surrounding the rooms and cobwebs enveloped all over the walls. The situation got so bad, Captain Levi put us all on Cleaning Duty for the entirety of the day, and I'm not gonna lie, the big strong image of Humanity's strongest Soldier is kind of underwhelmed when you realize he's nothing more than a puny little clean freak. Even Petra agreed he was a little over the top, but of course we didn't say anything to his face, not unless we have a death wish that is. Overall, even though this is gonna be my home for the next couple of days, it has the warmth and hominess of a medical ward. What's worse is that, like I already mentioned, I've been confined to the cellar. I might as well be behind bars under the damn courthouse again, it's basically the same, only with different people guarding me. Surprisingly, today wasn't too bad, aside from picking manure from the Horse Cottage. I was given the opportunity to interact with the rest of Levi Squad in a more personal way, and was able to explain to them more on the nature of my power and condition... Then Commander Hanji showed up, literally tripping down the stairs over to where we were eating and everyone left the two of us all alone to talk.

After spending an entire day listening to Commander Hanji, I learned a little something more about her outlook on Titans, despite how eerily cheerful and optimistic she is towards them. I never heard of anyone having such a touchy feely attitude towards Titans, let alone approach them with a smile on her face. I'm not gonna lie, her optimism towards Titans is incredibly disturbing considering what they've done to me, and Humanity in general. The irony is that her approach to them, as complicated as it sounds, actually started off in a familiar way, given her hatred towards them. I guess even among the insane, a spark of genius still ensues in the mind of a scientist. Though for some odd reason, she seems to be oddly infatuated with the idea of experimenting with me. I can understand her desire to learn more about how the Titans function, but why does she look at me with an almost uncomfortably creepy look on her face. Honest to God, it feels like she's slowly undressing me behind those glasses. I really hope they never have to read any of the things I'm saying here, otherwise I'm certainly they'll end me before the MP Brigade does.

I hate to say it, but despite how strong and determined everyone here appears to be, they don't exactly fit the bill when compared to the heroic vision that many consider the Scouting Regiment to be, that is considering those who see them as heroes and not a waste of their taxes. And yet surprisingly, they're all really interesting and some are even fun to talk to for the wrong reason. Their inner hostility towards me seemed to have mellowed out slightly as our time here was spent getting to know one another, despite Captain Levi keeping more to himself than sharing with the rest of his squad. Ironically enough, the only one who's managed to act like they even care about me is Miss Hanji, but I argue she only does it as a means of using me for her experiments, not that any will be happening any time soon now that her precious Titan pets were slaughtered before any of us were even around to see what happened. It really is sad that the only one here who genuinely acted nicely towards me out of will and not by force. Since Day 1 I couldn't get her voice out of my head. It just keeps circling in my mind and I keep hearing it as I close my eyes. Call me crazy, but hearing her gentle voice made me feel a slightly bit better amidst all the pain I had to endure recently. I can't say what's happening, but whatever the reason is, I doubt it will last for long. I don't know how long it'll take for me to feel secure here, let alone trust the people I'm with. In many ways, I believe in them, but in other ways, I find myself fearing them. Is this how it's gonna have to be until they see that I'm not a threat? If that's the case, I need to prove I am not a monster and show them that I am gonna do my best to bring humanity back from its ashes, or die trying.


	4. Chapter 4

-Day 4 (27 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Basement, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

It's been hell in here for the past 24 hours, after finding out that our Titan test subjects "Sawney and Bean" were slaughtered, possibly by a rogue soldier. Who, and why? I have no idea. We've been getting questioned over where we were during the time of the killings, but of course, neither of us checked out to be the one. But then Commander Erwin whispered something very strange into my ear, which I can't get out of my head. "Who do you think is the enemy?" Whatever that means. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but the thought remains, why would anyone try to kill a pair of contained Titans? It just doesn't make any sense! Even worse, what if that person would have gone after Eren? I can't help but feel frantic and downright paranoid over this entire incident. I have to keep up appearances sure, so as not to appear too blunt or meek, but I feel that Eren really has no faith or trust in us, and we only have ourselves to blame for this. I tried to talk to them about it and they agreed to try and ease up on him, except for Oruo who still talks to him like an obnoxious smart-aleck who can't stop pretending to be the Captain when he knows he'll never amount to him. So far, I'm not seeing any change in his mood and he looks uncomfortable to even be around us. I'm sure he wants to trust in us and be able to rely on us in the line of duty, but there's no denying that he feels extremely alone in this situation.

Tonight, I decided to take a different approach and convinced Captain Levi to let me watch over Eren tonight. Surprisingly he said it wasn't necessary considering the basement was so tight and so small that if he did transform, he would be immobilized, but declined due to the risk of him transforming while I was watching over. I know that he's looking after me and I appreciate the gesture, but I couldn't let this go on without convincing him that if I were given the chance, I could talk to him and maybe cheer him up a little, considering that whether he likes it or not, he's one of us now and I Believe that it's perfectly fair that he gets a chance to know us well enough so he can trust us well enough. Gladly, I was able to coax him and was permitted to watch over him with the condition that any progress that I get out of him, I share it with Commander Hanji and him. Fair enough, I guess. It's late as of right now and Eren is now asleep, but this night was worth the trouble I went through to get to it. At first, he was a little reluctant to talk to me, maybe considering the fact that I was sitting in a chair while he was in bed feeling like a prisoner in shackles. I didn't give the correct approach I was hoping to give him, so instead I tried something different. I wasn't planning on writing while we spoke so I put my journal on the chair and sat with him on the bed and got close to him. I gave him a gentle smile and took his hand and I told him that whatever's going through his mind, he can tell me and nobody would know. My smile wasn't fake; I would never hold back any feelings no matter what the situation is, and I wanted to make sure that he felt secure and comfortable around me. He wasn't my prisoner, he was my friend, and I held his trembling hand in comfort to let him know that.

He didn't say it and I didn't mention it, but his face was red the entire time I held his hand. I'm not gonna lie, his face was very adorable and he was muttering and stuttering during the time I was close to him. I didn't know what else to do, so I let go of his hand and sat a bit farther away to give him some breathing room. I knew he wasn't a monster, because no monster would be so timid and shy to talk to another person that way. Either that or it's possible that I may have caused him to fall in love with me, I guess its my fault for being too kind. Whatever his reason is, at least he got comfortable enough to talk to me and tell me all about what he has been feeling. I feel like he's keeping something inside though, like he's got something on his mind that he doesn't wanna say. I'm not surprised; he still doesn't trust me enough yet, but I sense that he doesn't see me as a threat to him, which while not much, is still an improvement. He was able to smile to me, again having his face red the whole time. I don't think I've ever seen him smile before, but I'm glad that he is. I misjudged him harshly, having little faith in him and thinking he's scared and weak. If anything, he's stronger than many of us in here. No person could be able to look at an unfortunate event like this and still be able to smile at the end. Maybe I should do this more often then, in fact, I asked him if he would like to talk to me every day to talk about how his day is going and about any thoughts or questions he has about us. I'm not gonna ask him anything about his Titan abilities because he'll think I'm doing this for security purposes and not personal reasons. Instead, I asked him to keep our little conversations a secret between the two of us, and he smiled while yawning softly and said yes. I couldn't help but smile as well, and after seeing him fall asleep, I find no better comfort in watching him have pleasant dreams knowing that he does in fact have someone on the inside that cares for him. I really do care about what he's going through even if I can't understand it, and whatever he has to tell me, I'll be ready to face it and help him through it. Because that's what friends are for.


	5. Chapter 5

-Day 5 (26 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Basement, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

I know it's been a whole day since I wrote on this journal, but it really does look like my isolation may have come to an end, or at the very least, would have. Much to my surprise, Petra came to me last night and told me that she wanted to keep me company. I'm not an idiot; I knew for a fact she was just there because Captain Levi made her stay to monitor me and see if she could get anything out of me in regards to my transformations. As it turned out, she came to me rather cheerful and sweetly rather than bitter and hostile like all the others, but something about her felt off to me. I'm not implying that she isn't kindhearted or sweet, but tonight she just felt a little more up close and personal. The last time she and I ever talked alone was on our first day cleaning up the castle, but even then, she just acted normally, which is more than I can say for the rest of the people living here. This time, she sat close to me and a held my hand in a very gentle and loving way. It really surprised me, especially given how everyone's been acting since we got here. This time I was able to get to know her personally and allow her to understand more about what was going on with me. I didn't tell her everything, but I feel like I can. For the first time, I really do feel like I can breathe and let out my problems, and she listened to every single word I said almost like a mother would listen to her child talking to her about her day. Her voice was even more soft and sweet and the touch of her hand was very gentle. I'm not gonna lie, I really did like having her around with me. It just made me feel like I wasn't alone anymore in this castle, or on this team. I doubt the others think of me that way, but having her care for me so much, after everything that's happened so far, it makes me feel, well, happy I guess. I wouldn't be saying the same after today though, as we finally began one of Commander Hanji's experiments. Up until today I still had no idea how or why I am able to do the things I'm capable of, but until today, I found out... At an embarrassing cost.

The experiment went like this: to prevent damage and any risk of hurting anybody, they placed be on the bottom of a well in order for me to transform. Apparently, if anything would go wrong, I'd do less collateral damage and they'd be able to yank me out the same way Armin did the last time I turned into a Titan. Makes sense I guess, though how they planned on yanking me out when I'm flailing my body around is probably a bridge they would cross if they were to come to it. Not that it would have ever been able to since the experiment failed miserably because I couldn't fucking turn into a Titan when they needed me to. Instead I kept biting myself over and over hurting my hand viciously with every bite. There was blood all over my face, teeth and hand, but no Titan; of all the times I transformed into this monstrosity, the time I want to, I can't? How does that make any sense? Even worse, is that I felt completely and utterly useless! What am I suppose to do if I can't do the one thing they're asking of me? But that's not even the worse part. The worse part is that I did eventually become a titan. The only problem? I transformed while having lunch with the rest of the squad and tried to pick up a damn spoon! My entire arm spontaneously and without warning transformed and before I knew it, Captain Levi was ordering his squad to lower their weapons... Everyone had their blades pointed at me: Gunther, Oruo, Eld, and even Petra. She looked at me like an enemy; they all did and were screaming at me, threatening to kill me, asking me to answer questions that I was asking myself. The only one who seemed to be having a ball there was Commander Hanji who burned her hands like an idiot trying to touch my arm. Everyone else, showed me exactly how they felt about me, with that one little misunderstanding. That moment, made me perfectly realize that nobody, including Petra had any trust in me whatsoever. Now I feel even more alone than I ever have here. I don't expect them to accept this so easily, but I would have expected the Survey Corps to have a little more faith when it came to one of their own. I guess it only counts when you've had the same experience that they all had, according to Captain Levi... Still... I would expect them to understand that this isn't something I want to be, nor is it something I'm proud of. I just want them to understand that I'm not a threat. Why can't they see that I'm still one of them?

I hate to say it, but at this point, I have no motivation to really go on with the experimentation they have ready for me, despite Commander Hanji's enthusiasm and Petra's unexpected support; I still genuinely feel more like a tool for the Military than a soldier for the Survey Corps. I can still feel the Military Police' shackles on my wrists, and now I feel like I have a collar holding me by the neck like a caged animal by the very people I wanted to become. Is this all really worth the effort and frustration? Can I really go through all this madness and become the hero that humanity needs? Who am I kidding? I couldn't even perform a single kill when I was assigned on my first mission on my first day.

"As Eren wrote, he abruptly stopped at that sentence and began to tear up dropping his pencil on the floor. Eren threw his journal onto the floor and as he was about to lose it, Petra came inside the room, only to find Eren on the verge of tears and insanity"

Petra: EREN! What's going on? What's happening?

Eren: My friends are dead... I brought them all to their deaths without even thinking about them... I nearly lost my friend Armin in the process all because of my recklessness! HOW CAN I BE TRUSTED TO SAVE HUMANITY IF I CANT EVEN SAVE MYSELF OR MY FRIENDS IN THE PROCESS? WHAT KIND OF SAVIOR DO YOU ALL WANT ME TO BE?

"Eren began to scream into his pillow as Petra looked at him in fear and tried to approach him, but as Eren saw her, he noticed her 3DM gear with her and backed away in fear"

Eren: S-Stay away from me damn it! You and every one of your so-called "Squad" just stay the hell away from me!

Petra: Eren please calm down. It's me, remember? You know you can-

Eren: SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN LIAR! You made me believe I could trust in you in order to tell you anything I knew about my condition! Of course you'd have no problem killing me, just like everyone else in here! I'm just a pawn for you all! Aren't I? A pawn that you can dispose of easily if worse comes to worse! Why should I trust you all with my life when you will aim your blades at me at the slightest little accident that happens right in front of you? Why should I ever show any faith towards soldiers who have no faith in me whatsoever? Answer me that Petra! Answer me because as of right now, I prefer that you kill me now than to tolerate anymore of this torture from any of you!

"As Eren let his anger, fear and frustration finally pour out, Petra looked at him without saying a single word and began to tear up herself and covered her face to hide her shame as she only whispered two words"

Petra: ... I'm sorry...

Eren: What?

"Without even saying a word, she looked at her right hand and began to bite down on it viciously the same way Eren would to transform into a Titan and Eren's eyes widen as she began to bleed from her palm and cried out in pain looking at him"

Petra: I'm so sorry Eren... I know words cannot express your disappointment towards us, but I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't trust me even when I ensured you that you could. I'm so sorry Eren... I-I know this may not be much of an apology, but this is a sign that we're all in this together. You, me, and the others, who also have bite marks on their hands now... But... I understand now if you really never wanna talk to me again... I just want you to know Eren... I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

"She began to sob softly while her hand bled softly on Eren's bed and he looked at her and felt his spirit break at the sight of her broken state. She truly did care for him, but failed to show it, up until now, and Eren had no problem believing her and without saying any words himself, gently grabbed her hand and kissed her bite mark, getting her blood in her lips causing her to look at him"

Eren: I-It's okay... Please don't cry Petra.

Petra: H-How can you say that after I practically betrayed you in public and threatened to hurt you? "She spoke in tears and looked at his lips covered in blood as he looked at her and moved closer to her without hesitating and wrapped his arms around her hugging her gently. Petra blushed as he hugged her softly and began to cry in her shoulder"

Petra: Eren? "She looked at him and saw him cry as he looked at her with a sight of vulnerability and pain that she has never seen before"

Eren: I don't know if I can do this anymore, I'm falling apart Petra... I can't do this if I can't control it. What if I end up losing control again like when I nearly killed my sister Mikasa? I would have hurt you and won't even remember it, nor live to do so. I-I don't wanna ever have to hurt you Petra... I- "his words were slowly cut off as Petra held her finger on his lips and began to wipe off the blood off his face. Petra gently got closer to him and wrapped her arms around him bring his face close to hers and looked at him"

Petra: As long as I'm here Eren, I won't let anything bad happen to you and won't ever let you hurt me or anyone around you. As long as I'm here, my heart rests with you in my mind. I'll always be here for you Eren, and you can trust me as much as you can trust in all of us... But promise me one thing Eren Yeager.

Eren: a-anything, what is it?

"Without saying any words, Petra laid down on top of Eren and looked deep into his eyes and kissed him with her eyes closed as his eyes widened and felt his heart begin to beat rapidly. As Petra held her kiss on for a little longer, she slowly pulled back and whispered into his ear sweetly" promise me that no matter what happens, you won't give up. Promise me...

Eren: ... I... I... "He blushed and felt his mind be blown away as he answered and looked at Petra with a face as red as the blood on her wrist and gently took it and kissed it again" I promise you.

"Petra smiled happily and held him close to her as she snuggled up to him waiting for him to fall asleep and rubbed his face gently as soon as he did and thought to herself"

Petra: [I believe in you Eren... I know you can do this. Humanity may be counting on you, but you have my strongest support... I promise you, you'll never feel alone again. Rest easy now my dear... I... I love you]


	6. Chapter 6

-Day 6 (25 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, bedroom, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

Have I gone crazy? What have I done? I crossed a bridge that should not have been crossed to begin with. How could I have been so foolish as to kiss Eren like that? I don't know what came over me, or in what sense drove me to do that. Seeing him in such pain lit a fire inside me that I couldn't put out. The bite in my hand doesn't hurt anymore, but the feel of his kiss on my hand and on my lips both remain with no thought of ending. His voice is echoing inside me and I see his face every time I close my eyes... What happened to me?

I couldn't look at Eren straight in the eye today, and avoided his line of sight as much as I could. He could tell there was something wrong with me, but I didn't tell him anything, and tried to ignore it as much as possible until he left back to Trost District with Captain Levi and Commander Erwin in order to enlist members of the 104th training squad to join, some of which, if I'm not mistaking, are Eren's friends, the ones who remain after the battle in Trost District.

I've been washing my face all day trying to get the image of his smile out of my head, but I can't. I'm suffering without him near me, I'm in complete agony. What is going on? Have I gone insane or have... Or have I develop a fever for him?

God this can't be happening. It's just a phase I'm sure. I felt something last night but it's over now. I can't be possibly feeling what I think I'm feeling. I need to relax, I need to try and forget about it. I need to be able to look at Eren again without any problems surfacing. I'll be alright, I know I will.

"As Petra finished writing on her journal, she sat down on her bed and blew out her candle as the moonlight bathed her room with a heavenly glow of darkness. Unable to go to sleep, she wrapped her arms around her legs and began to cry softly into her legs as she thought about the monster with the green eyes she has grown to care"

Petra: Eren... I don't know what I'm feeling for you right now, but I know that I can't get you out of my mind. You mean a lot to me and I miss you... I hope you'll come back soon enough...

"Petra continued to talk to herself as she gently cried and laid her head on her pillow closing her eyes. In her mind, a cloud of darkness wrapped the interior of Wall Rose while Eren appeared in front of her in his Titan form and appeared to be picking up an oblivious and uncaring Petra. She did nothing to stop him as he slowly began to eat her, and smiled gently as he suddenly stopped and reverted back to his human form unnaturally and out of nowhere. The dream lacked any sense but it didn't matter to her as she slowly felt herself being picked up by the Titan boy she swore to protect and felt her lips close against his as they gently began to kiss, before Petra suddenly woke up and realized what was going on."

Petra: ... Eren... What have you done to me?


	7. Chapter 7

-Day 7 (24 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Scouting Regiment Barracks, Trost District-

I heard from a distance and watched as Commander Erwin reached out and spoke to out the remaining recruits who were forced to face the nightmare at Trost, my friends included. I can only imagine the distraught look on their miserable faces knowing that they have to choose between joining us or joining the garrison regiment. On one hand, they can guard the walls from a safe distance and practically do nothing knowing they'll have no reason to step outside of the walls. On the other hand, they can seal their fate and risk death every minute they spend trying to recapture Wall Maria. It's pointless really, because death truly is at around every corner no matter what seal you carry on your back.

The battle in Trost showed that we really aren't safe no matter where we are or what we do. We're all trapped in an endless pit of death and unless we can learn to fight these monsters, Humanity doesn't stand a chance. Well, almost doesn't. The thought occurs to me that I won't be able to fight alongside these people and not have their lives on my mind as we go along. We come into this together and fight as a team. I know that with Captain Levi and Commander Erwin, we can truly go into Wall Maria and uncover whatever secrets lie under that goddamn basement back home. The only thing in my mind is... Can we make it there and back in one peace? No of course not.

They're sending us on an obvious suicide mission, but if we succeed, we will be able to answer the question to how to eradicate the Titans and bring our lives back in order. I have faith in my friends, and in my squadmates... Specifically, Petra. Ever since the night before leaving back to Trost, she's been on my mind nonstop. Nobody knows what happened between us that night, and I'm still grasping exactly what the hell even happened. Being around Petra like that made me feel relaxed and calm and happy, but why did she kiss me like that? Was this intentional or did it happen because of the heat of the moment? I don't know why... But I have never felt this warmhearted in my entire life and I wish to feel that sensation again with her.

"Eren suddenly felt a painful burst in his chest as he wrote and suddenly began to tear up as he fell to the floor and crawled towards his bed to lie down. His chest kept bursting with pain as he wrapped the bed sheets around him to try and sleep it off"

[4 hours later]

~Petra: Eren, do you still doubt our trust? EREN! NOOOOO!~

"Suddenly Eren woke up sweating and panting exhaustively as he felt his eyes tearing up on their own again as he laid back in bed and began to cry silently over the nightmare he had"

Eren: ... P-Petra... I miss you.


	8. Chapter 8

-Day 8 (23 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Bedroom, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

It's been over 2 days since Eren and the others were suppose to be back from the ceremony in Trost, and as of now, I await patiently for him to return along with Captain Levi and Commander Hanji. I ask myself tho, how will I be able to communicate with him without addressing that big elephant in the room that we both know we'll have to talk about eventually? I don't know exactly what Eren thinks or feels about me, but I don't want to give him any false hope or any assumption that there might be anything going on between us. Though I know Eren is much more mature than he seems, I cant help, but feel guilty over that kiss I gave him. I don't wanna break Eren's heart in any way, but I'm afraid of how he will approach and handle the situation, and whether or not he'll be hurt or let down. I just... I don't wanna disappoint him.

I began to question myself as to why I even did that in the first place. I don't know why in a situation like that would I even think of kissing him. I mean, what would've been accomplished as a result? Nothing, except a sweet and tender moment he probably has never had in his entire life-

"As Petra wrote on her journal, she stopped abruptly and felt her face light up in an embarrassing fashion as she muttered to herself in a shocking matter"

Petra: Was I Eren Yeager's first kiss?

"Petra's voice proved to be louder than she expected as she did not notice the confused Eld Jinn passing by who heard what she said and began to laugh like he heard the punchline to a really funny joke and Petra's face lighted up like a candle as she stuttered trying to find a way of explaining what she said"

Petra: E-Eld listen t-that wasn't what- this isn't wh- I didn't- ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

Eld: "he continued laughing not able to contain himself with how ridiculous he found her sentence to sound" Y-You?... And Eren? Are you serious? I would have expected this from Hanji given how batshit crazy she is, I'm surprised she hasn't attempted to rape him at this point, but you? Petra what the fuck is wrong with you?

Petra: Eld I swear to God, you can't say anything about this to anyone, not even Captain Levi. Don't do it for me, do it for Eren.

Eld: Hmm? Now just why would I keep my mouth shut for him? What's he got to lose if I tell the Captain he's been getting a little tongue on the side?

Petra: "She got furious and slapped his face hard leaving a huge pulsing mark on his cheek as he cried in pain, but understood that he deserved it" Eren needs all the love and support he can get from us. He doesn't trust any of us and that little incident with the spoon didn't help. You can't say anything to Captain Levi. He'll forbid me from getting close to him and talking to him and Eren will go back to being alone.

Eld: But he doesn't have to be with you throughout the entirety of the day in order to trust in us. Are you- owww, Damn that hurt- are you sure you're not going just a little bit overboard with this? If you've grown to care for the little freak, that's fine, but I'm just saying: don't get too attached. Remember what he is, "he pulled out one of his blades and held it close to her" and remember what WE are.

Petra: "she looked down with a look of understanding and melancholy" It's not gonna have to come to that; you'll see. Eren already proved his worth to Humanity by fighting the Titans as one of them and sealed the gate in Trost at the cost of many of our friends' lives, and he will continue to prove his worth to us as well. I have faith in him "she then looked at him seriously" so I suggest you do the same.

Eld: "he looked at her and began to snicker softly" Whatever you say. "He turned around and walked away but then stopped and stared at her" oh wait, that reminds me: your Titan lover just arrived downstairs if you wanna see him. "He said as he left laughing"

Petra: "she growled in anger and blushed" wait till I get my hands on- wait... Eren? "She went to her window and saw Eren and the others in their horses and she smiled happily waiting for him to go into his room and picked up her journal and continued her sentence as well as finishing her entry"

-and will probably never get to. However, maybe that kiss helped more than I Could have thought. At the end, Eren needs someone who can put their love and trust into him, and as long as I'm here, I'll be here to make him feel like he belongs.

"Petra finished the entry on her journal and went downstairs to find Eren half asleep on his horse as she picked him up and carried him to his room as she felt his face heat up and her face suddenly got horrified" CAPTAIN I THINK EREN IS SICK!


	9. Chapter 9

-Day 11 (20 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Bedroom, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

[Three Days Later]

"After coming back from Trost District, Eren was found with a severe fever and fell unconscious as he had gotten off his horse. Petra took the unconscious Eren into her room with Captain Levi's permission and proceeded to nurse the poor boy back to health, on account that she feared letting him stay in the basement would affect his health in worse ways than it already was. During these three days, Petra watched over Eren like a mother caring for her sick child, as he had been unconscious during the entirety of his sickness, and never left his side no matter what. On the third day that Petra spent taking care of Eren, she found his journal lying next to him on her cupboard and she noticed it was open and couldn't help, but read what was written, despite knowing how upset Eren could have been had he found out."

Petra: "As she sat down, she gently caressed her comrade's face with a gentle smile" Just relax Eren, I'm still here. You just worry about feeling better. I just... Need to know something... Something important.

"Taking a deep breath, she began to read in silence the last entry on Eren's journal, believing she might be able to find out if Eren had been feeling ill in secret and wasn't able to tell anyone."

-Day 8 (23 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)

-Exterior, Forest, en route to the Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

I can't sleep anymore... These past few nights have been nothing, but endless torment and pain every time I close my eyes. I keep hearing her screams of agony; her cries of terror that keep waking me up at night. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I can't go to sleep without hearing that horrifying scream begging me to help. Why is this happening?

The sad thing is that I do know the reason why. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, we are at war. It's only a matter of time before one of us ends up falling to the Titans' grasp. I can't protect my friends anymore than I can protect myself. Five years ago I vowed to put a stop to all the Titans; a vow that my 10 year old angry self made after my mom was eaten in front of me. I made a promise that I would kill every single one even if it cost me my life. The truth is, I already lost my life once during my first encounter with the Titans, and at the end I couldn't even slay one. Not one, even after seeing my friend Thomas get eaten alive, I wasn't strong or fast enough to save him. As a result, I was too weak to avenge him.

What really angers me even more is that I should have died on that spot after I pulled Armin away from that Titan. Instead I came back as one of them. I didn't slay the Titans; This monster inside me did. I'm not a soldier... I'm just a freak. A miserable, monstrous freak. And everyone knows it. Killing Titans isn't worth this. It isn't worth losing myself in the process. My decision to join the Scouting Regiment was not the decision I wanted to make given these circumstances. I wanted to join to become a soldier. Instead, I joined under the threat of execution.

I'm not a soldier to these people; I'm just the boy that can turn into a Titan. It's funny how they see me like I chose to be this way. They treat me like vermin because they think I am what I am by choice. They refuse to listen because they're afraid. And they refuse to give me any chance to speak because they refuse to let a Titan speak for himself. I am not a Titan! How can I possibly prove that?

The answer is, I can't. At the end of the day, what I am is irrelevant to what they believe. I'm just a monster to them and that's all I'll ever be until they end my life. I know that's what they have in mind. "Use the Titan boy then dispose of him" is what they're thinking. I didn't want to be what I am, but I can't fix that, no matter how badly I want to. After this is all over, I'll still be what I am, and that can't be fixed unless by some divine miracle.

That's why I can't be trusted by anyone. Not my friends, not my fellow soldiers, not even Captain Levi, not even Petra... No matter how hard she screams for me to save her in my dreams, in real life, she would never do such a thing. No matter what I will ever do alongside her, I will never be anything more than a pity party of misery that can kill her on the spot with the bite of my hand. I'm a monster to her. That's all I ever will be.

I wish I wasn't any of this. I wish she would see me for what I actually am... I wish she would see that I am not a threat to her in the slightest. I only want her to know that I would... Never hurt the one that I love. But I know that will never happen. Humanity needed a savior and they got me instead. I'll play the hero part and let Humanity decide my fate. The way I see it, death seems a better way to go than to live the life of a monster.

"As Petra finished reading the last paragraph of the journal entry, her body began to tremble and her eyes began to tear up as she closed Eren's journal and began to cry silently next to him as he still slept. Petra has discovered Eren's true feelings for her against his own will and realized that Eren has accepted his own mortality. She remained speechless as she saw the face of her comrade as he slept presumably trapped in an endless nightmare of which he can't wake up. As he slept, Petra felt an urge building up inside of her, as if she had something she wanted to tell him but knew she couldn't because he wouldn't be able to hear, so instead she leaned close to the young soldier's face and kissed his lips gently as he slept and whispered softly into his lips with a soothing and gentle voice."

Petra: "whisper" you're not a monster Eren... You're not a soldier either... You're a hero... You're my hero, Eren Yeager... And I love you too.

"Petra smiled as she saw him sleep and rubbed his face even more as she waited for him to wake up. She would confess her feelings just as he would have confessed his. Petra only hopes that he will be forgiving of her reading his personal journal."


	10. Chapter 10

-Day 12 (19 days before The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)-

-Interior, Bedroom, Scouting Regiment Headquarters-

~Petra: EREN! NOOOOO!~

"Eren suddenly woke up feeling numb, cold, and weak as he lied in bed naked with a wet towel on his forehead. Unable to move, he felt his eyes beginning to tear up as he recalled the nightmare he woke up from, feeling that it was more like a memory of a memory that hasn't happened yet. As his tears slid down his face, he found himself drifting back to sleep as he suddenly heard the sound of his door knocking and opening"

Petra: Eren? Are you awake?

"She spoke gently as she sat next to him while she removed his towel and checked to see if his fever had gone down, much to her disappointment, and noticed his tears as she gently wiped them off of his face"

Petra: -sigh- Eren, I hope you can hear me. "She spoke gently as she gently rubbed his face" I'm gonna be here for you, when you wake up. I missed you so much, and I promise I'll never let you feel alone ever again. "She knelled over as she was about to gently kiss his forehead, only to be stopped by the look of Eren putting his hand in his mouth looking like he was about to bite down hard. Not taking any chances, she grabbed his hand and held him against the bed" EREN STOP!

Eren: "Eren suddenly woke up panicking as he screamed gently and saw the scared beauty in front of him holding him down like a man who got caught stealing a piece of bread. Still weak from his fever, he was barely able to work up the words he tried to utter" Petra? W-What's going on?

Petra: What were you thinking? You were about to bite your hand in your sleep Eren.

Eren: Bite my- what are you talking abo- ow, will you please get off me? I'm not feeling well in the slightest.

Petra: "she slowly let go of his hands and calmed down as she sat down on the bed and looked at him" I'm sorry... I know biting down isn't enough to... You know, but I just can't help imagining what would happen if-

Eren: "her words were cut off as a disgusted Eren looked at her almost angrily" if I were to transform in my sleep and kill everyone? Is that what you thought would happen?

Petra: Eren, please, don't take it personal. I just got scared and reacted harshly. I know you can't help not knowing about what you're capable of doing, but accidents can happen, and I don't want you or anyone to have to suffer from them. "She rubbed his face gently as his anger subsided slowly and he looked at her and noticed she had no maneuvering gear on her and no blades to draw"

Eren: "he looked at her face blushing softly and suddenly began to feel lightheaded as he lied on the bed with his head resting on his pillow as he felt weak from his fever and felt a chill on his body as he whimpered" I don't think I'll be hurting anybody anytime soon given how horrible I feel. "His weak words of pain quickly turned into words of confusion as he noticed he had been stripped away of his clothing and began to blush looking away from her" Umm Petra? How long was I asleep?

Petra: Now don't be scared, but you have been out cold for four days now. I've been coming and going to check on you multiple times, and- "her words were interrupted as he looked at her with a confused look"

Eren: Why am I naked? "He looked at her covering his entire body much to her subtle amusement as she found his shyness to be surprising and adorable coming from him"

Petra: You were burning up and sweating up a storm. I didn't want you to get any sicker than you already were so I stripped you down and laid you on my bed so that I can nurse you back to health.

Eren: "his face began to light up and he found himself covering it to hide his immense blushing knowing now that she has not only seen him naked, but stripped him down voluntarily for his own safety" W-W-What was wrong with my own bed below?

Petra: The bed isn't the problem; the basement however is dusty and I didn't want you waking up and getting sicker by your surroundings. That, and I wanted you to sleep comfortably while you were sick, without having to be chained up in the process. "She smiled rubbing his face and sat next to him as he kept hiding his face shyly" I would want nothing more than for you to recover in the best way possible.

Eren: "Eren felt his heart beating and teared up while laying his face on her pillow and found himself stricken with joy over her kindness and caring nature as he tried to hide his tears from her, much to his dismay as she noticed and smiled sweetly saying nothing" Petra, if you don't mind... I'm feeling very tired and want to sleep.

Petra: Of course, rest as long as you want. I'll be here for you waiting for you when you wake up. "she smiled and leaned close to his face and kissed his cheek sweetly" sleep well my hero. "His eyes widened as she left the room and closed the door gently and her face lit up while she stood against the door covering her face"

Eren: "Eren felt his entire body tremble with joy as he teared up with a slight smile on his face and noticed that her bed had a particular sweet scent. Eren blushed over what he believed was the scent of roses as he wrapped the bed sheet around him unable to get Petra's beautiful face out of his mind and found himself falling asleep with a smile on his face"

~Petra: Eren, trust in us as we trust in you. I promise you, it will all be okay.~

~Eren: I can't leave you behind, I just can't.~

~Petra: Eren listen! You have to go! We'll take care of it ourselves, go round up with the captain and meet be back with the others... Do you still doubt our trust?~

~Eren: Petra... I TRUST YOU! GOOD LUCK!~

~Petra: I'LL COME BACK TO YOU EREN... I PROMISE!~

~Eren: -whispered- I know you will... I hope.~

~Petra: Eren? EREN! EREN! NOOOOO!~

"After what felt like hours, Eren woke up in Petra's bad screaming and began to notice his hand was bloody along with his face as Petra rushed in and was shocked in horror to see Eren panicky, confused, sad and out of nowhere began to start sobbing loudly as he saw the scared face of his comrade. Petra closed the door behind her, wearing a bathrobe as she had just bathed and sat next to Eren and saw the bite marks on his hands and blood on his face. She remains speechless and Eren utters the first sentence."

Eren: I... I couldn't... I couldn't save you... You kept screaming for me... And I couldn't save you... "His voice quivered as his tears fell on Petra's bed as he finally let out what he's been seeing every night that he went to sleep" We keep getting chased... A Titan, unlike anything we've ever seen. I try to stop her, but all of you keep telling me otherwise. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, it always ends with me leaving, and you dying while I am nowhere to be seen. I-I hear your screams, but I'm not fast enough to save you, and when I get there... "He pauses for a second, as his eyes widened and he screamed softly into his pillow and sobbed" Y-YOU'RE BODY IS CRUSHED AGAINST A TREE AND YOUR FACE IS LIFELESS AND COVERED IN BLOOD!

"Petra tried to step in and calm Eren down, but couldn't help but listen in horror as to what he had to visualize every single night"

Eren: I feel anger, my entire body becomes numb and lifeless, and the only solution I have... Is to destroy the monster that ended your life.. By turning into the very thing that destroyed my life twice. It doesn't matter what I am, it doesn't matter what the MPs do to me or what the Titans do to me; I cannot live my life knowing- "his words were immediately cut off as Petra uttered the words"

Petra: - that you couldn't protect the one that you love. "His eyes widened and her face began to tear up as well as she dared not to look at him and felt nothing but shame coursing through her body as she admitted what she had done" I... I saw what you wrote Eren. I couldn't help myself to let you suffer without trying to find out why. I thought I would find an answer... Instead, I found a secret I shouldn't have found out. "Eren looked at her with a sense of betrayal, but at the same time with a sense of shame knowing that she read how he felt about her and couldn't find a way to deny it" I know you believe we don't trust you, I know you think of yourself as a monster, and I know... That you ultimately plan on killing yourself "Petra began to sob quietly as well as she covered her face to prevent Eren from seeing her in pain"

Eren: Petra...

Petra: Eren... I couldn't live with myself knowing that you died believing that your cause and contribution was all for nothing. I couldn't endure knowing that you wanted to perish all this time because of how mistreated you've been. "She looked into his eyes as his tears have now stopped" I may not look like it or even act like it, but you mean a lot more to me than anyone else that I've ever come across in my life as a soldier. Eren I- "her words were cut short as Eren began to speak"

Eren: Soldier... Petra, I'm not a soldier... If you read what I wrote like you say you did, you know damn well that I am nothing like you or Captain Levi. I wanted to be a Scout and fight for Humanity and avenge the death of my mom, but I didn't choose to become a slave for Humanity to whip around into shape punishingly for something I didn't choose to be or can control. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE WHAT I AM NOW, but I can't do anything about it. And you wanna know the worst part? The worst part is that I am expendable. I've seen how you treat each other. Respect, admiration, loyalty, if one goes down, the rest go in after him. That isn't the same case with me. If I die, nobody will turn back to find me, no one will even care. If my mom was still alive, no one would tell her what happened unless she found out from the word on the street! "Eren's sadness now grew to anger and began to scream as he muffled his face against her pillow" TO ALL OF YOU I'M JUST A FUCKING TOOL THAT YOU CAN DISPOSE OFF EASILY IF PUSH COMES TO SHOVE! NONE OF YOU THINK OF ME AS ONE OF YOUR OWN AND YOU NEVER WILL! I'M NOT A SOLDIER... I'm just... A Titan... A monster... Why not just end my life now and not give "Humanity" the satisfaction of doing it themselves? "His mood now switched from anger to sadness as he looked at the heartbroken beauty with sorrow in his eyes" Why should I give myself to Humanity when they will only give me death at the end of the day? Why should I suffer so that the people who will one day end my life get to live another day?

"Petra's heart and soul were shattered. The voice she heard wasn't the boy she had fallen in love with, but the voice of an angered soul wanting to end it all. Having nothing to say, no way to help, Petra felt useless for the first time in her life as she stood up and slapped Eren square across the face and looked down speaking in an almost emotionless matter similar to that of his mother when she told him that her legs were broken and that she couldn't move"

Petra: "Eren groaned in pain as he looked at her shocked" You... Still doubt in me? "She slapped him again even harder" You think your life means nothing to me? "She slapped him once more as he began to tear up from the pain and nearly pleaded her to stop" You think I would abandon you and leave you out there to die? "She screamed angrily and what looked like a slap to Eren's face as he prepared to flinch, turned out to be a slap headed to a different direction as he had closed his eyes and heard the loud slap and began to hear Petra sobbing loudly. As Eren looked at her, he noticed the red palm print on her face and noticed a bit of blood coming from her face. She had accidentally cut herself with her nail, not to deep to cause a scar, but enough to bleed. Her sobbing was loud, but nobody came to answer her cries as she kept her sights away from Eren and felt her soul collapse even more. Eren remained motionless as he recovered from the pain and saw as his teammate cried her eyes out in front of him" I couldn't live without you Eren. I couldn't bear to imagine life without you in it. This past week we shared together was unlike anything I ever experienced before with anybody, and being with you made the thought of having to risk my life outside of the walls seem like a cakewalk compared to the agony you had to endure. "Eren looked at her as he felt his heart begin to warm up hearing what she was saying, but couldn't bear to believe it himself" You mean the world to me Eren, no matter how small we are compared to the Titans, nothing can compare to the love that I feel for you. No matter how insignificant others think you are, you are a hero to Humanity Eren, you proved that when you plugged the hole in Trost, and you'll prove that when we go on our mission in just a few weeks. You're right Eren... You're not a soldier... But you're not a monster either. You're a hero... "Her voice became softer as Eren listened" You're my hero Eren Yeager, and I love you. "And with that, Petra's voice became silent as she cried silently looked down unable to look at her hero in the eyes."

-Eren's heart began to beat profusely as he leaned closer, not noticing his lack of clothing as he chinned her up and wiped her tears away and began to slowly pull him close to her. Without hesitation, Eren reciprocated for the kiss she gave him almost a week ago, and kissed the brokenhearted soldier sweetly while he hugged her as tightly as his arms would. Petra was surprised, as she hugged Eren back and felt her heart melt by his warmhearted affection.-

Eren: "With Petra's eyes still closed, Eren gently broke the kiss and looked at the young soldier with a serious, but confident look on his face" I love you too, Petra Ral... Maybe I was destined to be a monster for Humanity to toy with, but I would accept any mortality if it meant enjoying what little remained of my life with you. "Petra blushed as she felt moved by his words and still shocked by the kiss" I don't care what happens to me anymore, but I know that no matter what, if my destiny is to die be it by man or Titan, I will ensure that what remains of my life is spent protecting you... No matter what happens, I will keep you safe. You and everyone else. "Her tears began to stream as she heard his confident and encouraging vow" I may not be a soldier, but I know damn well that I can protect the one soldier that means the world to me just as much as it does to hers. "His eyes teared up as well and he looked at her while he felt his body collapsing softly and uttered these last words" ON YOUR FEET SOLDIER!

-And just like that, Eren and Petra began to kiss each other once more, with the two standing and embracing one another in each other's arms. This time, Petra returned her kisses just as Eren returned his. Before they knew it, they're entire world was silent, and all that remained was each other. As they felt each other's warm loving embrace, Petra, feeling overwhelmed by love and happiness, undid her robe and revealed herself to the one that she loved. Eren is bashful at first, but lets the moment sink in as he kissed Petra deeply and found himself holding her against the wall and began to stare into her eyes. Neither one of them says a word as Petra wrapped her arms around Eren's neck and wrapped her leg against his bare waist while nodding with a smile on her face allowing him to do what they both were thinking of doing at that very moment. Eren and Petra shared one more kiss before submitting each other to their own romantic and lustful desire, and found themselves in bed holding one another as their moaning and panting could be heard from inside the room. The combination of blood, sweat, and tears swept the bed as Eren and Petra relinquished their virginity to proclaim their eternal and undying love for one another. Petra's room heated up as the two held each other after what felt like an eternity together, and she laid her face against Eren's shoulder as she smiled sweetly rubbing his face."

Petra: If you're a monster Eren, what does that make me?

Eren: "he smiled and whispered gently" I believe that makes you a princess.

Petra: "she blushed and looked into his eyes with a never ending smile and whispered" If word got out of this, we could be in trouble.

Eren: We don't have to tell them. This can be our little secret. "He extended his hand to her"

Petra: "Petra was reluctant at first, but smiled liking the idea and held Eren's hand as the two gave each other one last kiss before falling asleep in each other's arms."


	11. Chapter 11

-Day 30 (The Day of The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)

-Two weeks have passed since that night they shared alone, and the two lovers did as they agreed to do and kept their love a secret. Eren had to even go as far as to lie to his friends and his adoptive sister Mikasa, who suspected of him of being up to something, noticing that he'd been sneaking around whenever he had the chance to. Petra especially had to hide her affair from her comrades who would not only frown upon their relationship, but would try to intervene negatively. The hardest thing she had to do was lie to Captain Levi, who knew that there was something going on between her and Eren, but didn't tell anyone about it. Whatever his reason is, Petra was oblivious to that fact and kept making excuses so she can be able to be with Eren.

Two weeks have passed, and their love for one another only got bigger as each day passed. Many of the scouts-in-training, the majority of them being Eren's friends, noted something they haven't seen before: Eren was smiling. His dumb, goofy smile made many of them feel uneasy as to why he was like that, and Jean in particular even went so far as to grab Eren by the neck of his shirt and force him to stop smiling so weirdly as it was creeping him out. Eren then proceeded to laugh, and ignored the threats made by his comrade. Armin however, was pleased to see him smiling again, as he believed he needed to be happy after all the torture he had to endure in these past five years. Mikasa was also pleased to see Eren smile, but her thoughts kept rushing back and forth wondering why he was so happy all of a sudden. It all started since they had arrived, and even with the tragic news of the death of Eren's friend Marco, he was still smiling, though not during that moment as he genuinely felt saddened by his demise.

Two weeks have passed and Eren was preparing to go on the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission and as he got himself ready, Petra was in her room writing a letter before preparing to go. As Eren went in to check on her, Petra smiled denying that she was doing anything and the two embarked with the rest of their friends on their mission towards Eren's home in Shiganshina district, where Eren believed the secret to the Titans was under the basement in what used to be his house. Eren was nervous, but for the first time in a long time, he was feeling confident and strong enough to take on anything that came in his way, especially now that he has, not only his friends, not only his squad-mates, but also his girlfriend riding by his side to protect with his very life.

Two weeks have passed and nothing could prepare Eren for what he or his friends were about to face: A Titan with a female physique. This Titan was athletic, fast, and had the power to crystallize parts of her body to protect herself. Armin suspected that this particular Titan was a shifter similar to Eren, but couldn't bring himself to wonder who could it possibly be. When Eren and Petra discovered the Female Titan, she was chasing them both along with the rest of Squad Levi through the Forrest of big trees. Eren watched in horror as many of his comrades fell while trying to apprehend the Titan. Trying to convinced them to let him fight, Petra kept telling him to stay put and that everything would be okay. Unfortunately, Petra didn't believe that for even a second as she kept trying to ask Captain Levi what to do, and he kept his mouth shut throughout the majority of their ride. Eren began to have flashbacks to the dream he was having, and desperately tried to convinced them to let him take it on as a Titan, but as soon as he did, Petra uttered those words, he didn't want to hear: Do you still doubt our trust?

Two weeks have passed and Eren has since then forgotten about his nightmare and began to dream soundly. The sounds of his lover's screams have ceased and all he could hear was the sound of rainwater, however he wondered exactly, why was he hearing the sound of rainwater when it hasn't rained near his location for a long time. Despite this, Eren was finally able to rest, knowing that his nightmare was simply that; a nightmare. Now, it seemed as if his nightmare was coming to life. After running away from the Titan and even after supposedly capturing her, the Female Titan continued to chase after Eren and the others with the exception of Captain Levi who was with Commander Erwin at the time. Eren was having a heart attack, he couldn't help but punish over the very idea of his nightmare turning into a reality, and before he knew it, he found himself arguing with Petra over what to do-

Petra: Eren, listen to me: we'll take it from here. You just head on back and regroup with the others. We'll take care of the Titan.

Eren: No, I'm not leaving without you. I can't!

Petra: Eren, if anything happens to you, Humanity won't have any chance to live another day.

Eren: But..

Petra: "she looked at him with a confident smile" It's okay... I promise you, I'll come back to you when this is over.

Eren: "Eren looked at her as the rest of their squad-mates put two and two together and realize exactly what's going on between them, but kept their mouths shut" Look, I can take it! Just give me a chance! I know I c-

Oruo: You heard her! If anything happens to you, neither of us, will be able to go back home living to tell the tale.

Eld: We might not get along well, but you can trust in us Eren.

Petra: You see Eren? We do trust you. But do you trust us as well?

-Two weeks have passed and Eren still had his doubts about the rest of Squad Levi. He felt endangered around them and felt that at any moment, they would turn on him if the order were to be given out, or even if they felt like going rogue just like the soldier who offed Sonny and Bean. He still lacked any trust in them since they held their blades in front of him when he accidentally transformed into a Titan to pick up a spoon. He also didn't find their attitude toward him appealing as they kept talking to him either shortly, or with anger in their voices. Eren got used to it a little after he and Petra became a couple, but it still hurt to hear that they didn't think to fondly him considering he's one of their own.

Two weeks have passed and for the first time in those two weeks, Eren ran away, putting his faith and trust into his friends and lover, uttering the last words his girlfriend would ever hear him say-

Eren: I TRUST YOU! GOOD LUCK!

Petra: I'LL COME BACK TO YOU EREN... I PROMISE! "Petra screamed as Eren swung away while Oruo and Eld looked at her smirking"

Eld: How long has that been happening?

Petra: "she blushed and looked at him angrily" N-Nothing's been happening, what are you talking about?

Oruo: HEY HEY! Enough chatter, we still have this Titan bitch after us. You two know the drill!

Eld and Petra: RIGHT!

-Two weeks have passed and Petra Ral, Oruo Bozad, and Eld Jinn demonstrated their spectacular teamwork as they apprehended the Female Titan, wounding her as much as they could. Unaware of his presence, Eren saw from a distance as they cut and sliced their way through the Titan's arms and legs, weakening her even further to the point where she has been severely blinded. It was only a matter of time before the Titan could regenerate completely and retaliate against arguably Humanity's finest. Eren was baffled and impressed, but even more so was watching with a dreary eyes look as he saw his girlfriend fighting and dealing more damage than he could have possibly imagined. He watched patiently as Eld made his way into the Titan's neck, only for Petra to notice a shocking revelation: The Titan was focusing her healing on her eyes.

Two weeks have passed and the young, handsome, and stoic Eld Jinn found himself trapped by the jaws of the Female Titan and groaned in agony as her legs healed and he was bitten completely in half. The remainder of Eld Jinn's torso remained on the ground as Petra stared horrified and unable to move. Eren's eyes widened as he decide to ignore command and swung quickly to fight back. Little did he know, he would be too little, too late. As he swung his way towards the scene of the fight, the Titan continued to chase after the survivors of Squad Levi and as Oruo screamed for Petra to snap out of it, Eren is seen and utters a blood curdling scream-

Eren: PETRA!

Petra: "Petra quickly snapped out of her shock as both her and Oruo noticed the disgruntled soldier disobeying command and coming to help" Eren? EREN! NOOOOO!

"Petra's scream was all that could be heard as the Female Titan slammed her foot against the angelic soldier and crushed her against a tree. The sound of her spine breaking is heard by both Eren and Oruo as Eren's eyes are widened and on the verge of tearing up."

Oruo: PETRA! "He growled angrily and looked at Eren" EREN! "He said nothing to him more as he made his way towards the Female Titan and tried to fight her off himself"

-Two weeks have passed and slowly like flies, Günther Shultz, Eld Jinn, and now Petra Ral all fell victim to the Titan's fury and dropped just as quickly as they got up. Oruo felt anger in his heart, but not towards Eren. His feelings towards Petra were predictable to him and he knew that he might come back to try and save her. He held no grudge towards Eren, but felt a deep sense of respect for him. However, he couldn't let this interfere with his mission. Vengefully, he sliced the Titan as much as he could to the point where he got towards her neck, only for the neck to crystallize completely causing his blades to shatter. Shocked, confused, but aware and accepting of his now intimate mortality, he looked at Eren one last time with a tear falling off and gave him a traditional Scouting Regiment salute, as the Female Titan smashed his body against the floor, killing him instantly.

Two weeks have passed, and Eren's world has been shattered within the spring of a few seconds, as he saw not only his comrades giving him their last respect, but seeing the love of his life die, in front of him, in the hands of a Titan, just like his mom, five years ago. Eren swung down and examined her mangled body and his eyes we're just as shocked as his heart was broken: she looked exactly as her dream described her to die like. Eren felt several different moods at once, from pain, to sadness, to regret, to anger. Ultimately, he chose the latter and unleashed his Titan fury against the Female Titan to avenge the death of his loved ones.

Two weeks have passed and for the first time in almost two months, Eren found himself going hand-to-hand against another Titan, unaware that this Titan was a shifter like himself. His roar was horrifying, his punches were rough, his kicks were fast, he even bit onto the demonic creature as much as he can, simply for the purpose of ending its monstrous and deadly existence. Eren was determined, angry, and prepared to kill the Titan that killed Petra so that at the very least, he can live knowing her death was not in vain. Much to Eren's displease, he was defeated and ultimately he was captured by the Female Titan only to be rescued by Captain Levi and his step sister Mikasa. Eren, not only failed to follow orders, not only saw his friends and girlfriend die in front of him, but also failed to fight back against the very Titan that killed her in front of his eyes."


	12. Chapter 12

-Day 1 (1 day after The 57th Exterior Scouting Mission)

-Exterior, Karanese District-

"The amount of morale was low, the number of losses were catastrophic, and the painful memories of everything the brave soldiers who lived to tell the tale of the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission, is burned into their subconscious with no chance of escaping. Eren has only recently woken up after being unconscious for a few hours, and lied down with a cape covering his body and a bandage wrapped around his head. His ears were pierced by the combination of screams and cheers from multiple people of Karanese District who either applauded for the soldiers, or condemned them. Despite how heavy the burden was for everyone else, Eren's burden was much too heavy for him to carry, and was made even worse when he saw two little kids with wide eyed smiles as they cheered for them and talked about how amazing it is and must be to be a Scout.

Eren began to remember when he was in their exact position just five years ago, and only just now, did he feel his entire humanity crumble and shatter. Mikasa looked as she saw the very face of the one that she cares for, whom just two weeks ago, was smiling like nothing on this Earth could bring down his happiness, was sobbing silently into his arm and felt his entire soul break along with his heart. Eren tried to endure it, but one can only hold their pain in for so long until they have to unleash it. Eren felt weak, useless, and helpless, but unlike that day five years ago where his pain and anger gave him the determination to end the Titan tyranny, he was broken, for the second time in his life. Completely, emotionally, broken.

Mikasa kneeled next to Eren as he tried to shove her away, but she held his arm tightly and she began to whisper into his face: "It's not your fault Eren... It's not your fault. Please... Don't try to be strong... Not now... I know what she meant to you. I felt the same way when I lost my family. But I didn't get the chance to cry it out. Eren... Please... Don't be strong... Not this time. Not like this." Eren, at first, tried to shove her away even more, but she kept pulling him back, until she grabbed him, hugging him as tightly as she could, while beginning to tear up as well. Eren couldn't hold it in anymore and his silent cries of heartbreak grew into a loud, broken-hearted scream of agony. Everyone around them, soldiers, friends, onlookers, were immediately silenced by Eren's sobbing, and even the children watching couldn't bear to watch. Similar to when a poor old mother went into the parade of Scouts coming back into Shiganshina District five years ago, looking for her son Moses, Eren sobbed and felt his world fall apart, unlike that mother however, he had nothing to bring back of Petra. No body to bury, nothing of hers to take back home to her caring and loving family.

Eren kept sobbing until his injuries caused him to fall back unconscious. Mikasa watched as she wiped her brother's years away, as Captain Levi approached the two and handed Mikasa a letter to give to Eren with the instructions, "For his eyes and his eyes only." Mikasa nodded and placed the envelope inside Eren's pockets and waited as the two were carried away back to HQ. Upon returning to HQ, Eren was placed in his bed under the basement, as always, and was kept there to rest and recover from the trauma he had experienced. Eren slept, but this time, he didn't dream. He saw nothing but emptiness and blackness and felt alone and weak. A few hours later, Eren woke up and was greeted by Captain Levi who held something in his hand, which looked like a key, not like the one Eren had around his neck."

Levi: According to regulations, we have to have these bars closed at all times when you are down here. "He said in his usual monotone self as he unlocked the bars and looked at him" Those pigs will have to deal with me in case they try saying anything, not like they'll know. "He walked in and sat onto the end of the bed and looked at Eren with disappointment and admiration" You disobeyed a direct order. Disregarded the safety of your fellow comrades, and transformed without my, Commander Erwin or Commander Hanji's verbal approval. You showcased extreme lack of focus and risked the lives of more than just your squad mates, but the lives of the people inside the walls. "Eren began to growl, this time he didn't care about what Levi said and felt more distraught because of his scolding and tried punching him, only to be stopped by his quick reflexes. Levi didn't flinch, nor did he fight back, but instead looked down as all Eren can do is growl angrily. His growling subsided when he saw something he'd never seen before: Levi was tearing up." Farlan Church... Isabel Magnolia... They were my closest friends several years ago. I saw them both die in front of my eyes, and felt a bolt of anger inside me that made me annihilate anything in my path, including the Titans that killed them both. "He kept looking down as Eren was still shocked by what he can only described as 'the first time Captain Levi ever showed emotion'" We all lose a part of who we are out here in this squad, we can either live with it, or let it consume and destroy us. Eren... Don't let your pain determine your outcome. Be the better man... Be the better man and don't ever let life push you around.

"Levi wiped his tears away as Eren said nothing as the short, but strong leader got up ready to leave and looked at him with the same emotionless look he's known for"

Levi: Be the better soldier... Only you can be Humanity's Last Hope.

-Levi then walked away as Eren pouted imagining the heartbreak he had to endure and now understands the pain he deals with every single day just having to live with that turmoil. Eren's respect for him only grew bigger as he lied down and felt a sharp paper like object in his pocket. As Eren pulled it out, he noticed it was a letter titled, "To Papa, From Petra". Without hesitation, Eren quickly pulled the letter out of the already opened envelope and began to read, wanting to know desperately what her last words were to her family.-

{Dear Papa, I write to you as I prepare to embark on our latest expedition towards Shiganshina District. Captain Levi has chosen me to be part of his vanguard and we will be embarking today to try and find out whatever we can about the Titans. Everything here has been peachy. Many of our new recruits have gotten well accommodated to staying here and I've done my best to make them all feel warm and welcome. By now you already know this, but Eren and I are really enjoying each other's company. He's very sweet, kind, and caring, which he often denies saying that I'm just describing myself. He's beautiful Papa, and I love him so much, maybe even more than he admittedly loves me. I haven't gotten the chance to tell you yet, but, Papa, Eren and I have been together for more than two weeks now. l love Eren so much, and honestly, I couldn't live my life without him. He is a hero, a galant knight in shinning armor destined to save humanity. I wonder how shocked would he be if I were to ask him to marry me. Hehe his face would grow pale I'm sure. But the truth is, inside, I actually do wish I could marry Eren. Maybe not now, but in time. I just hope, that no matter what happens, both you and Eren can move on, and carry me in your memory. You're both strong, and I love you both so much. I hope I get to see you again after this is over, and hopefully, I'll introduce you to him personally. With love and kisses always, you're baby girl, Petra.}

-Eren's eyes grew restless as he felt himself tearing up once more, this time, not only out of pain, but at the same time, out of joy. He held the letter to his heart and smiled as he cried thinking to himself-

Eren: "In his inner thoughts" Petra Ral... I promise you, I will live on with your love in my heart. I will never forget you, for as long as I live, and no matter what it takes, even if it causes my life, I will put a stop to the Titans, once and for all, even if I have to do it by myself and as one of them. It's like Captain Levi told me to do: Be the better man. And I promise you, I promise to all of you who died on my watch, Mom, Thomas Wagner, Mina Carolina, Oruo Bozad, Günther Shultz, Eld Jinn, and you Petra Ral; I promise you all, that I will become the strongest soldier humanity has ever seen. I will prove once and for all, that I am, in fact, Humanity's Last Hope!

-As Eren wiped his tears away, he looked up into the sky and made his vow be heard as he went upstairs with his friends to discover that they suspected the Female Titan of being none other than Eren's Cadet-in-training Annie Leonhart. At first he was in denial, but ultimately he looked at his friends with a look of determination and uttered the words-

Eren: Let's Bring This Traitorous Bitch Down!

The End


End file.
